


Silent House

by TazersKaner (msrogersstark)



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Lonely!Eddie, M/M, Sad!Eddie, about Jacob's trade, not a lot of happy stuff here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-06
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2018-02-07 18:54:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1909980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msrogersstark/pseuds/TazersKaner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And I will try to connect<br/>All the pieces you left<br/>I will carry it on<br/>And let you forget<br/>And I'll remember the years<br/>When your mind was clear<br/>How the laughter and life<br/>Filled up this silent house<br/>--<br/>Stupid, he thinks. He's so stupid for thinking that Jacob would stay somewhere where he wouldn't play. Stupid for thinking that people would want to play in Vancouver, a city that has never won a cup. Stupid for thinking that they'd stay just because of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent House

**Author's Note:**

> Because I almost cried when I saw that Jacob wanted to leave. Also because I saw this wonderful image made by a tumblr account that I love and it made me cry. Here is the link: http://mylittleblackhawk.tumblr.com/image/90510594150  
> \--  
> Title/Summary from Silent House-Dixie Chicks.  
> \--  
> You should listen to my trade talks playlist while you read since it was written while listening to that. The link is here: http://patrickkanethesecond.tumblr.com/post/90592158264/for-trade-deadlines-free-agency-or-trades-in

 

The icon flashes onto Eddie's phone and triggers a wave of different emotions.   
_Stupid_ , he thinks. He's so stupid for thinking that Jacob would stay somewhere where he wouldn't play. Stupid for thinking that people would want to play in Vancouver, a city that has never won a cup. Stupid for thinking that they'd stay just because of him.   
Happy, he thinks. Or at least, that's what he should be feeling. Happy for Jacob, happy for whatever team gets him because he is a damn good goalie.   
He doesn't feel happy. What he does feel is Alone. It burns through him, leaving ice in it's wake and he's suddenly drawing his arms around himself, trying to stay warm.   
He should be used to this by now, being alone.

 

He lies awake in bed that night, and he still hasn't called Jacob, even though he knows he should. Jacob was the one bright side in Lu's trade. He remembers feeling like his life was ending then and it's similar now.   
When he saw the thing about Lu, he called him immediately. Lu didn't pick up. Eddie had started to panic, a feeling he hadn't felt for a long time since he'd met Lu. It drove him towards Lu's house and left him knocking at the door for what felt like hours without an answer. Lu had flown out right after the call and he hadn't said goodbye to Eddie, hadn't done much other than grab his stuff and leave.

 

With Kesler, it had been different. Eddie didn't have the same _connection_  with Kes as he did with Lu but he still cared about him. It was certainly awkward, being on a team with someone who didn't want to be there, but it wasn't the first time it had happened. It wasn't a surprise with Ryan like it was with Lu. Ryan was supposed to leave, wanted to and Eddie was happy that he got what he wanted. Still, when he texts Ryan, it's hard to say goodbye because he knows that next season, there will be someone else in Ryan's stall, someone else with his jersey number, someone else at center. Someone who _isn't_ Ryan. It makes Eddie want to cry.

 

The one light in his pool of darkness was that Chris resigned. Eddie was so happy that he nearly made Chris deaf when he called, screaming about how good they would be next season. It made him feel a bit better that not everyone was leaving him.

 

Jacob leaving was a slap to the face. It was a wake-up call, because it could easily have been him. But Jacob, despite the fact that they are so closely matched, would end up with the short straw this season and he'd end up being shipped off to wherever their AHL team is this year. Eddie  _gets_  why it happened. He just doesn't like it.

 

When he does pick up his phone, he dials Jacob's number but doesn't press call. He doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know where Jacob will go, if he will go at all. Eddie knows that it's a fucked up thought, but he almost hopes that Jacob won't be traded and at least they'll be somewhere close to each other. He just ends up feeling bad and goes to bed.

 

"I'm sorry."   
The text comes in to his phone while he's asleep, jolting him awake, expecting the worst. He smiles when he sees it's from Jacob but then remembers the situation he's in and goes back to feeling like crap all over again.   
Jacob ends up calling first.   
"Hi." Eddie answers quietly, putting his feet up on the coffee table in his living room, putting the tv on mute.   
He wasn't actually watching anything worthwhile because all of the shows he likes to watch remind him of all the people that have left him and he can't do a thing about it.   
"How are you doing?" Jacob asks, sticking with Swedish because they might be good at English but everything is just easier that way. This is something that Eddie only has with Jacob and it makes him miss him even more.   
"Fine." Eddie replies, as quiet as before, trying to convey that something is wrong without having to actually say anything.   
"You're upset about me asking for a trade."   
Eddie takes a breath. "Yes."   
"You know it's not personal."   
"Yes."   
Jacob sighs. "Leaving you is the hardest part."   
Eddie bites his lip, blinking past the tears that had come to his eyes.   
"I swear, Eddie."   
He doesn't reply for what feel like forever. It isn't until he's prompted by Jacob worriedly saying "Eddie?", that he speaks.   
"I just don't want you to go." His voice breaks on the last word and he's finding it hard to breathe.   
"It's what's best." Jacob tries to explain, but it doesn't do anything to make Eddie feel better. He knows it's what's right and he's just being selfish.   
"I know." Eddie hangs up the phone and throws it at the wall, watching the screen shatter into a million pieces and feeling like his heart is doing the same.   
\--  
Eddie buys a new phone and adds his contacts onto it. He doesn't download the score app, or any news app for that matter. He adds his new goalie partner's number into his contacts, along with Chris and a couple of the guys from Vancouver. He starts to add Jacob's contact, knows it off by heart now, but his thumb hovers over the save button and he can't bring himself to press it.   
He tries to call Lu and gets nothing. He doesn't know where Ryan is, but probably somewhere hot. He's probably with his new teammates. He doesn't press call and he doesn't even send a text. He doesn't dare call Jacob.

 

When he falls asleep that night, the summer breeze blowing through his hair, the only thought on his mind is  _Why does everyone leave me?_

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**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you think


End file.
